You Can't Just Tough It Out: The Emotional Side of Chronic Pain

Why ignoring the feelings behind your pain might be what’s keeping you stuck

There’s this idea...especially in the fitness world...that if you’re strong enough, disciplined enough, or gritty enough, you can power through anything. And when it comes to pain? That mindset can wreck you.

I’ve seen it over and over again in my 14+ years as a Sport Massage Therapist. Someone walks into my space...tight, guarded, moving like they’ve been holding their breath for three years, and when I ask how long they’ve been in pain, they shrug and say,

“Oh, it’s been bugging me for a while. I’ve just been toughing it out.”

Cue internal screaming.

Because here’s the truth that no one wants to say out loud:

There is an emotional side to chronic pain. And toughing it out isn’t strength it’s avoidance.

Pain Isn’t Just a Physical Problem..There is an emotional side of chronic pain

Yes, there’s often tissue damage, inflammation, tension, or something structural going on.

But underneath that? There’s usually:

• Frustration

• Fear of never getting better

• Exhaustion from having to explain it

• Isolation because people “don’t get it”

• Guilt for having limitations

• Shame for not being able to do what you used to do

These emotions don’t just “happen” to you.

They live in your nervous system.

They show up in your posture, your movement, your breath… and yes, your pain patterns.

The Problem With "Toughing It Out"

Here’s what usually happens when people try to push through chronic pain:

• They overcompensate with other muscles, which leads to new problems

• They avoid movement altogether, which makes pain worse

• They ignore emotional signals until they explode (or implode)

• They wait until their body is screaming before they finally ask for help

And then they come in—exhausted, inflamed, discouraged, and honestly? Burnt out on trying to fix themselves.

I say this with love:Pain is not a problem to outwork. It’s a message to be heard.

So... What Do You Do Instead?

If you’re stuck in pain and tired of pretending it’s not a big deal, here’s what I recommend:

1. Acknowledge it without judgment

You’re not weak. You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You’re just carrying a lot—and that’s okay.

2. Talk to someone who gets it

Whether that’s a bodyworker (hieeeeee 👋), a therapist, a coach, or a trusted friend, don’t carry this alone. You don’t need to justify your pain to be worthy of support.

3. Notice what triggers it

Pain flares often come after emotional stress, poor sleep, or nervous system overload. Noticing patterns gives you power.

4. Let your body respond, not react

This might look like crying during a massage. Taking a rest day. Doing a breathing practice instead of a WOD. Or just saying, “I need a minute.”

5. Shift the goal from fixing to feeling

Sometimes your body doesn’t need to be fixed. It needs to be felt. That’s where release happens. That’s when healing gets real.

Final Thoughts & Recap

You’re not a machine.You’re not failing because you’re in pain.And you don’t have to earn relief by “being tough enough.”

In fact?

Toughing it out might be the very thing that’s keeping you stuck.

Chronic pain is layered. It’s messy. It’s emotional.And when you stop trying to fight it, and start listening to it—really listening—your body finally has a chance to breathe, reset, and heal.

I’m here for that kind of work. The deep stuff. The honest stuff.

And if you’re ready, I’ve got space on the table...I have a safe and sacred space just for you—and no judgment if you cry, shake, laugh, or all three.

Trust me, I’ve seen it all. But also, I have been there with tears and legit screams

You’re safe here.

Schedule Your Session Today